Taylor Swift’s influence blamed for Chiefs’ loss to Eagles

First off, I need to tell everyone that my bosses definitely aren’t holding a taser to my neck to make sure we mention Taylor Swift the requisite number of times per day (c’mon, you know who we work for. The taser to my neck is our Christ… to being shone on them thanks to Kelce’s pursuit of world stardom. Their hands are just a little sweatier, the knees shake that much more, because Swift-sized judgment awaits around every turn. The task of achieving a lifelong dream while carrying the… to the playoffs when they’ll almost certainly host yet another AFC Championship Game. The weight of the Swifties is not something any team can carry. It’s obvious now that the only thing standing between the Chiefs and their status as an official N… than anything Jeff Agoos might have done:

Here’s how they should honor Modano

The Dallas Stars announced that Mike Modano will get a statue outside the American Airlines Center. We have a suggestion for what it should be of:

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